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All Fantasy, No Football: Week 4

This week, let's just focus on holiday cheer, jelly shots and PWNing your friends in awesome-ness.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it...is below.

1) Hide mistletoe all over the freaking place. TOUCHDOWN!

how to strategically hide your mistletoe

If I'm watching football all day, SOMEONE is going to make out with me. That is the rule.

2) Everybody loves the friend who brings jelly shots. Be that friend.

Gummy Fish in Blue Gelatin Bowl

My favorite is this gummy fishbowl for these two reasons:

  • If someone accuses you of drinking like a fish, you can respond, "Duh. That's what you're supposed to do. I'm just playing along!"

  • Whenever you're feeling extra salty that you are not at brunch, do the following: look at your fishbowl, look at whoever convinced you watching football today would be a good idea, look back at your fishbowl and quietly say, "there are plenty of fish in the sea." If they ask you to repeat yourself, scoop a big vodka jelly helping and look them directly in the eyes while you eat it.

source: GIFSoup

3) Predict the outcome of the game by reading friends' palms.

You can study the above palm reading map and give accurate glimpses into the futures of those around you. Or, better yet, just use the opportunity to make stuff up and judge your friends. Oh, you see what your "lifeline" does here? That means you sing Justin Bieber songs in the shower and your neighbors find it REALLY annoying. Don't even get me STARTED on how your "pick up line."

thats so raven fortune telling

source: fyeahthatsoraven

4) Learn a victory dance and use it to get the party bumpin'.

I've asked everyone I know to try to teach me how to dougie. What does it even mean? Can I learn it at Zumba? Alas, my pleas have fallen on deaf ears, so I took to the internet and found this handy-dandy instructional video. Live it, learn it, pull it out when a team scores some points. Don't stop until everyone is dancing or someone tackles you. Win-win.

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