My dearest Red Velvet,
How do I love you? Let me count the ways. First, there’s your fluff of white creamy frosting—an icing
that may gild many a lesser cake, rightfully earning for itself all the adoration and attention. But on you, Red Velvet
, it meets its true purpose: to cast its sweet richness like a crown upon the reigning cake
Because, Red Velvet
, you are Cake Majesty. You wear your royal red with the dignity and grace of one who was destined for it. And you prove your fate with a feat like none other: A cocoa coup d’etat. The unexpected dose of chocolate sends your approval ratings through the roof.
And despite all you’ve accomplished, you’re still one of the softest and sweetest creations I have ever known. Red Velvet
: You rule. And I am forever your humble and adoring servant.