How to Survive a Family Reunion Bourne Style

By NY Barfly
Created March 13, 2017
While family reunions can be fun, you should take note of the spy skills in the newest Bourne movie. You never know, you may need them to survive any awkward moments. MORE+ LESS-

This summer it’s time to revisit two legacies.

The newest Bourne movie is scheduled to hit theaters, and while it doesn’t feature Jason as the main character, it will carry on his action-packed brand of espionage. The other legacy you’re going to face as Labor Day approaches? Why, your family of course … ‘cause its reunion season! While family reunions can be fun, you should take note of those spy skills – you may need them to survive any awkward moments.

Avoid That Weird Relative, Ninja Style

Anyone who saw the Matt Damon versions of Bourne knows that the spy is a master of escape. When the relative you don’t want to see is coming closer, ready to chat your ear off about nothing at all, be ready. Don’t stand in any corners and try to mingle only in rooms with two exits. If your party is outside, that’s even better to give yourself multiple modes of egress. You can always excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, the grill or the bar.

Work with a Femme Fatale (or Handsome Leading Man)

When Bourne was on the run trying to piece together his identity, he had help from some beautiful ladies. The lesson: bring a plus one. If someone has your back throughout the shindig, it will make potentially dangerous situations that much easier to navigate. Just be careful you don’t trust the wrong person – while in the spy movie it can mean the difference between escape and getting captured, in real live it can mean getting embarrassed after your date gets to tipsy.

Keep Your Secrets Close

Bourne lived in a world of intrigue and his secrets went to the highest levels of the U.S. government. Ok, the fact that you know about Aunt Sally’s crush on the pool boy isn’t going to topple any heads of state, but still – no one likes a gossip. Bourne could keep his lips sealed (and Matt Damon had about two expressions throughout the film) and so should you.

Keep a Level Head

Did you think Bourne was able to recover from his amnesia and bring down a huge conspiracy by drinking every beer put in front of him? No way! While a brew or two is great for discovering the past (aka reminiscing about old times with loved ones), have more than your share and you’ll just have more hazy flashbacks that need piecing together.

Plan a Sequel

Would Jason Bourne be such a part of our cultural consciousness if Damon had starred in one movie and called it a day? Not so much. Sequels are important for carrying on the legacy – meaning you should plan to see your family more than once a year! Make plans to hang out again – or just to keep up with each other on social media or old-school style via the phone (as long as they aren’t tapped). This way you don’t have to spend the first half of the next reunion piecing together the plot from last time.